we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I will pee on everything he values.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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