I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
