Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My balls are so social today.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
