I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize