a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
