I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
