I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We left an ass print on the piano.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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