the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
