She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
