i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
