And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Watching her eat just hurts me
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
