either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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