it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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