You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
