Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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