i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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