Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
