Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
