halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
