Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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