I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she peed on how many people?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize