sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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