i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
