we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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