Can i not drive my cunt home
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
