so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
