If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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