Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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