Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
