i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
