You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
