the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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