I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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