Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
