you traded sex for a burrito?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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