I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's never too late to be topless.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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