just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
