Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
