Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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