i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
