is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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