I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
