I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We named our party play list daddy issues
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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