yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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