can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
