The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
