try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
May the power of my ass compel you!!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
