you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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