I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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