Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
