Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Hello my rib-scented angel!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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