I showed him my bush... on skype.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
