I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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