The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
