Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We have so much sex to catch up on
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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