i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
