he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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