I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
