Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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