He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
