We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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